6 Months Out!

A lot can happen in just 6 months!

me…
before october 1, 2013

On October 1 of last year I underwent intensive surgery to remove a paraganglioma tumor from under my jaw and cheek bones.  Two tumors had grown together to create one measuring 8 to 10 centimeters long and shaped like a banana.  The tumor had been growing for approximately 20 years and had completely consumed most of my right facial nerves.  Surgery to remove the tumors resulted in extreme stretching of most and laceration of other nerves.  The right side of my face has been severely affected.  I was informed that through therapy and 6 months of recovery time I would 'get back' much of what was originally lost.

The morning of October 2nd proved that my voice box was crucially incapacitated (I could not talk), swallowing food or liquid of any kind was impossible (I had a feeding tube), breathing was labored (I had a tracheotomy),  tongue movement was minimal and my right eye was weak and could not dilate.  I spent a hellish week in ICU and Critical Care.  However, my paraganglioma was not cancerous (YAY!) and my recovery could be helped with therapy!

me...october 2nd
and I have to say, this picture looks much better than I felt.

Today is April 1st.  I wish I could jump out and say "April Fools….it was all a joke!" but I can't.  I am, however, grateful to know now that I am a survivor, a fighter.  I have a more acute sense of life these days and don't want to waste any of it on the mundane.  My energy is still low and I get tired easily, but it will not stop me from enjoying what makes me most happy.  I love nature, art, creativity, imagination, simplicity and kindness.  I admire those who are strong yet much less fortunate than I, in there long-suffering, and see them as shining examples in an otherwise hopeless world.  Idea's and opinions I thought were so important to have and share before, now seem to be silly compared to the hope I have in my heart for all mankind.  If it were not for the faith and prayers of others, pain would have consumed me.  If it were not for loving friends who shared gifts, sweet texts and compassionate service, depression would have debilitated me.  If it were not for my girls, sunshine and laughter would have been clouded out.  If it were not for the incredible love and selfless devotion of my hubs and best friend, CJ, I would have given in to utter weakness.  If it were not for the tender spirit, I would never have learned to appreciate the quiet, peaceful moments.

tender moments of strength and mercy
….thank you CJ

me & my cutest man…5 months out

When all is said and done…My Heavenly Father loves me.  I can say this with out doubt.  He has blessed me beyond my deserving.  Before I came to this earth He instilled within my heart an unsurmountable lot of SUNSHINE.  All I want to do is share that sunshine!  I have the power to do so through my thoughts and actions.  I am still working on strengthening my faith everyday.  But, He understands me, knows my weaknesses and loves me anyway.  He is the ONE who has seen me through my darkest hours, bitterest pains of recovery and struggles to win this fight.   

All in all:  I lost a total of 40 pounds (NOT a diet program I would wish on even my worst enemy),  my speech sounds similar to a Muppet or drunkards voice, my tongue is still paralyzed on the right side, my scars are unique to any others I've ever seen, I am one of 3 people who have had this same surgery, I still have a lazy eye that does not want to dilate, the migraines have subsided, my ribs have healed (I broke them due to choking ALL THE TIME!), my chin is numb indefinitely, I can finally eat more than 2 tablespoons of yogurt for a meal, I have gained back 15 pounds and I am finally comfortable joking about almost every aspect of this crazy 'ganglioma' journey!  What a wild and emotional ride! 

I have 2 more surgeries to undergo before this craziness is over.  One more tumor to be removed on the left side in my neck and the reconstruction of my voice box.  After that, I hope to regain energy, travel a little more, renew my spirit completely and, God willing, become a grandma full of fun and silliness!

that's EXACTLY what I plan to do!

Peace, love and sunshine!

Lisa