study, journal, create, repeat...

One year ago I started a scripture study.  The study was to run for 7 days and guide me through the last week of Christ's life.  There was so much sincerity and spirit in that study I decided to find another scripture study challenge.  When that challenge had ended I found another challenge...and so on and so forth.  I studied various scripture themes for the next 12 months.  It has made a significant difference in my life.

Also, one year ago, I embarked onto many personal journal challenges.  These are not as consistent as my scripture journaling, but definitely as enjoyable.  I'm not a writer and no more am I a scrapbooker, however my desire to keep on documenting is alive.  I love the idea of pictures that illustrate my words and so I will always strive to involve photo's...because they are fun!  It's been proven that journaling is therapeutical.  I guess I'm a sucker for personal theory?  I don't know?  At any rate, I will continue.

What I'm taking from this past 'year of journal study adventure' is that journaling must be "my thing".  I'm constantly challenging myself to read, journal and create.  I don't feel right if I'm not involved in it in some way.  It's like being lost.  I don't want to be lost.  I don't want my memories and knowledge to be lost.

Life is a process that's never ending.  I can't really wrap my head around that?  I'd like to see a finality to it, where I am the all knowledgable and complete human being...nope, not in the cards.  I will always be my quiet, chaotic self, loaded with anxiety, panic disorders, addictions and insecurity.  It's gotta be ok, because when I document it all it seems silly, fun, crazy and worth my days spent on this earth.  Again, it all seems fun and normal when I journal.  My spirit finds peace when I'm nose deep in scripture study.  My memory stays semi acute when I'm documenting.  No one will ever take interest in my ordinary life, nor will it prove any historical findings.  I don't care.  I've just gotta do it.

So...HERE'S TO SCRIPTURE STUDY, JOURNALING AND LEARNING!!  May the force be with you!

Keep your sunny side up,
Lisa Lucille :]

what's your connection?

What do you feel connected to?

 I feel powerfully connected to the sky.

The sun, moon, stars and clouds.  

Years ago I received a blessing which eluded to the fact that it was in my best interest to pay attention to nature.  At the time I was taken back a bit because I was not the "tree hugger" type, so what could that mean?  I pondered it a lot, so much so that it became a little bit of an obsession.  So I began to read articles and watch videos or tv specials specifically about the elements of nature.  I turned to learning a little bit about earth sciences and started truly noticing all the little things around me when I would go for walks, hikes or drives.  In 2011, on vacation to the Teton Valley, it became very clear...I got it!  I knew what my blessing meant and how interested and invested I already was with it!  The elements of nature have a divine and significant meaning.

I came to believe that everyones spirit connects to an earthly element.  For example - My Sadoe Potato connects to the trees, she feels a comfort in them.  She also loves the water, she claims it makes her feel peaceful.  My Momma Cait's heart is always open to animals, she loves and cares for them intensely.  My Handsome Man is very much a kin to the earth, he is addicted to and thrives on outdoor adventure.  After many inquiries I have found people who love dirt, people who love rocks and people who are drawn to rivers.  When people understand what I am asking them, and are willing to answer me, they become very detailed and speak with a sense of excited reverence about their particular connection.  It's very cool.

Genesis 2:7 describes man was made from the earth itself.  So why wouldn't we feel a connection to it?  I believe ALL that the earth and heavens provide are specifically designed for our use and learning.  Just as we are blessed with unique talents and wisdom, I can't help but believe we are also blessed with very individual connections to God's beautiful earthly creations.

So, on days which I lay on my lawn and gaze into the big blue sky...or sit on my porch in the middle of the night just to see the stars, I will SMILE and say thank you for the blessing of my connection to it.  When I travel back to the Teton Valley (as I try to do every single summer), I will be humbled by the blessings of it's overwhelming magnitude...and then I will SMILE and be grateful for it all!

What are you connected to?  Don't take it for granted, don't think it's silly.  It's a blessing!  Immerse yourself in it, smile and be grateful for the connection.

Keep your sunny side up!
Lisa Lucille

year in a nut shell....

Equation....LAST YEAR = CHAOS!

In a nutshell.....Ava baby, 25th wedding anniversary celebration, start home remodel, Sadie wins place in Miss Bluffdale Pageant, purchased St. George house, still remodeling during the 106 degree summer,  lots of parades attended, moving into St. G house, took a girls (my girls) trip to Jackson Hole, gradually completing home remodel, Sadie moves up to Logan to start college at Utah State, girls trip (Kay) to Arizona, moving mom-in-law into new home, mom-in-law fights depression and we jump in to help her through it, CJ gone ALL of September...he's in Canada and Kansas, Lisa fights depression, CJ is an ironman once again in Panama City Florida, small thanksgiving in St. G, Lisa still tired and crawling through depression, still in the final stretch of house remodel, then christmas.

The last 3 years have not been easy ones.  What I have learned is that life is just life, and that it's like playing a very competitive game of dodgeball.  Sometimes we dodge one, sometimes we win with a quick catch and other times we get smacked in the face or gut and have to sit out for a bit.  It's all ok if we just take it for what it is...life.  I breathe A LOT and count to 10 OFTEN, then I have the ability to decide whether I accept or reject, and it has worked.

In battle we learn strategy.  I'm grateful for the opportunities I've been blessed with to learn and grow...create my strategy!  I can assuredly say there is opposition in ALL things.  We make decisions everyday, good and bad, positive and negative, kind and mean.  I've gained a passion for good, positivity and kindness, and I intend to share it!  I'm still battling my demon within, but someday he will lose my game of dodgeball...I will strongly and gladly smack him so hard, he will have to sit out for a very long time.

"..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different"

...quote by Michael Buckley

keep your sunny side up!

lisa lucille :]

catching up!

Sometimes life is rolling along smoothly...and then BAM...it hits hyper speed!  That's about it, my life for the last 3 weeks.  I've been to doctor appointments (not for me...for once!), to St. George for Easter break and then down to Scottsdale, Arizona for a little spa trip.  I LOVE being home with my family...it's always good to be home. 

So, I missed a few journal/blog/posts...whatever this is?  Now I'm catching up...

52 Gratitude....

#14 = A talent I have:

When I was young, I was a fantastic dancer.  Classically trained, none of the cheesy competitive dancing that goes on today.  I was taught ballet, tap and jazz - but - lyrical is my favorite.  I enjoyed choreography, and was really very good at it!  I have a deep association with music and movement.  Every time I hear a great song...I'm choreographing in my chaotic and creative mind!  I don't dance anymore, should never have let that go...oh well.

Now, at the age of 44, I am a talented doodle-er and journal-er.  I love to journal and add doodles and images to my pages.  It's fun.  I'm not super sure that it is a talent...but, I'm saying it is!  I have several different journals entitled and devoted to several different subjects.  I CAN NOT have enough note books...I love new note books.  But, I've always been a big fan of paper, pencils and markers my whole entire life, so it's not a shocker!  I am grateful for the blessings of creativity!

#15 = What I like about SPRING!

Well....DUH...the sun, warmth, colors, smells, rain and flowers!  Need I say more...nope.  I couldn't be more grateful when spring rolls around because I'm not a fan of winter!  So, I greet spring with arms wide open every single year!

#16 = Simple things in life:

I totally believe that the big things in life bloom from the small and phenomenal everyday things!  

The small (but HUGE) things in my life that I am most grateful for are my family, Tom, blue sky's, music, sunshine and warmth, comfortable clothes, kindness and character.  Those are a few of my favorite things (...when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things...)!!!  I love life.  One of the most valuable blessings I received post surgery was that the small everyday blessings are to be cherished and appreciated.  It's the most important "mantra" I have...enjoy the little things.  Big, great, happy feelings are produced from small and little occurrences!  I am grateful for SMALL and precious things....they make my BIG life extraordinary!

OK...I'm caught up now.  

Live, Laugh, Love

Lisa Lucille :]

challenges...that's life!

I've struggled with this blog post...maybe this blog post IS my challenge!  The question posed is "A challenge I've overcome?" and I think I have many challenges, nothing real big, just challenges...I think everyone does, that's just life.  So, to pick just one challenge has me very perplexed???

I picked 2 challenges that I have overcome in the last few years, that have meant a lot to me and left me full of gratitude and made my life a much easier place to exist.

The first challenge I've overcome is that I can drink, even gulp, water!  I couldn't drink water at all for a few months.  After surgery, when my ability to swallow started to come back, I could still only sip at water...a full on swallow would send me into a choking spasm.  It hurt, it cracked my ribs, the coughing was more than I could even take.  So, water was a tough one!  When I came out of surgery and was alone in my recovery room, I made a list of "things I want to eat again" and water was the first one on the list...it was the last one I was actually able to consume.  I couldn't gulp water until 1 year out of surgery!  Now I can, and it is DELIGHTFUL!  I can only take up to about 7 gulps before my throat gives out and can't control it anymore...but I'll take 7 gulps!  The groovy thing is...now I'm a water snot!  I will only drink delicious water!  I order water on amazon and have it delivered to my house...yep, that kind of snot.  I love NEO Water.  It's my favorite.  But, for CJ's sake I will sometimes order SmartWater...because that's his favorite.  At any rate, water is divine...and until you literally can not drink it, you don't realize how much you love it!  Diet Coke is still my favorite, I'm not gonna lie.  But at least my NEO Waters made it to the top shelf of the refrigerator!  I love them!

CJ calls these my 'little grenades' :]

The second challenge I've overcome is that I actually like me and I'm grateful to be me.  Loving myself has always been a challenge.  Since I was young I've been comparing myself to ALL who surrounded me and have always thought "I'm nothing special, look what they can do" or "Wow, she is amazing!  I could never do that."  Ya know, those thoughts.  I felt inferior and under-appreciated.  It took 43 years for me to realize...I AM AWESOME!  I don't look in the mirror with disgust anymore, I learn about others with curiosity and I'm honest with myself.  It's so great to think of yourself as a viable being in this world!  I am an introvert and love to do my own thing...I'm totally ok with that.  I can't speak in a crowd (my voice is too weak)...but I can listen, and that's even better.  I LOVE to lay on the grass, look into the sky and ponder eternity...it's a beautiful feeling.  I KNOW my husband loves me...not every women can say that!  There are 2 quotes that I feel describe me just perfectly..."I have an intense desire to be where I am not!" and "I'm not anti-social, I'm just really pro-me."  I am grateful for the challenges that helped me to love me!  Teaching preschool, being the primary president, surgery, scars on my face, accepting service from loved ones, recovery, being a mom, being a grandma...THANK YOU!

Me and Ava
Mine is a wonderful life!

FEWF!!!!  52 gratitude blog post #13...DONE!  I am so grateful for life's challenges.  I can say that with a full heart and a smile on my face.

Keep on keeping on!
Lisa Lucille

3 weeks...3 life changers

Life changer #1....AVA JANE!  CJ and I have a GRAND DAUGHTER!!!!!! Holy cow, I still feel like I'm 25!  How did this happen???  My baby had a baby!  Ava is truly beautiful.  She has a (now famous!) head of dark, thick hair.  Her nose is my favorite thing!  She looks JUST LIKE her daddy, but, she has her mommas lips.  She was born on January 30th at 12:53 am.  She weighed 6 pounds 8 ounces and was 18 inches long.  She is super healthy.  I could just squeeze her, kiss her and tickle her little face all at once...oh yah, I do!  She's like chocolate chip cookies...just can't get enough.

Life changer #2....CJ and I hit the '25 years of marriage' mark!  A quarter of a century I've been with him, and we have an eternity to go!  He planned a dinner at Porcupine Grill with all our family and close friends and it was such a fun event.  Everyone had a great time and it was a gift to spend time with everyone we love, all at one time!  I can't think of any other way we could have spent this momentous occasion that would have been more fun and meaningful.

Life changer #3...Friday, February 21, CJ was quarantined at the Riverton Hospital for 3 hours because he thought he may have been exposed to anthrax...yep, that's right...anthrax.  Only my Chris.  He found out at our anniversary dinner that Rob Brasher had acquired anthrax (topically) from an infected sheep that they shot on Rob's property.  Well, CJ hadn't been feeling real great for about a week and after looking up all "anthrax symptoms" on the internet...he thought, "I might have anthrax in my respiratory system?"  Long story short...He ended up being scrubbed down - in the nude - by 2 E.R. nurses dressed in hazmat suits, again....yes, hazmat suits!  I'm not sure CJ (or anyone I know) will ever have an experience like that again in my lifetime!??!  I mean...anthrax!  Who get's exposed to anthrax...other than terrorist targets???  Fortunately, CJ did NOT have anthrax in his system.  If he did, his case would have evacuated ALL of Riverton Hospital, quarentined all his places of usual existing, he would have made it onto the WORLD NEWS and most assuredly would be dead real soon.  I think it's safe to say...we are so glad CJ did not test positive for anthrax.  Good to know he was just dealing with a bit of the common cold. (CJ made a lot of friends in the ER that night, that's my Chris...everyone loves him.  What a clown!)

I'm tired....
Lisa Lucille ;]

today is once in a lifetime!

Certain things only come around once in a lifetime.  Like today...it's 12/13/14!  Ok, technically there will be another 12/13/14, in like 100 years, but that is NOT in MY lifetime.  So, I celebrated...

FIRST: hair in a pony...all day long!
didn't even shower.

SECOND: sweatpants & slippers!
(again...all day long!)

THIRD: made (& ate) a crap-ton of christmas cookies with Sadie!
96 cookies!

FOURTH: sat by the fire and played on my computer....
wasted time. it was delightful!

FIFTH: dinner in the front room with my best friend!
breakfast for dinner...scrumptious!

SIXTH: ate ALL the left over tater tots...
BAM!

So...my celebration went well.  I am pleased with my 'once in a lifetime' day.

OK, but really...today got me thinking about how many once in a lifetime experiences I've really had.  My memory sucks, but the ones that affected me most I will never forget....

* My friend, Lisa Hoj, passed away when she was 36 years old.  She suffered from breast cancer, which spread to her bones.  Her struggle lasted 2 1/2 years.  She will not be the last friend I have that will pass away, but we were young and she was beautiful with a cute little family.  It was the first time in my life I watched someone lose there hair to chemo, become excruciatingly thin from testing and medication and uncomfortably bloated from the same.  Mood swings and emotional instability challenged her on the daily, and she was just so tired.  One day I visited her, she was asleep, and I just sat holding her hand for 30 minutes.  Lisa's life and death was a 'once in a lifetime' for me because it was a shock I had never felt and will never feel again.  I learned how to give true service and what unconditional friendship means.  That's a lesson I cherish.

* I've been to New Zealand!  I'm not so sure I'll ever have the chance to go back.  The other side of the earth...that's far!  I will always remember how relaxed and kind the people were, how bad the food sucked, glow worms, the US dollar was double it's value there, children going to their first day of school with no shoes on, deep sea fishing (and puking!), mist...not rain...mist, driving on the wrong side of the road and the green beauty of it all.  I love a good cultural experience, this was definitely in my top 3!

* Flying on a float plane into Knights Inlet, Canada to spend a week salmon fishing.  I've never experienced a more pristine place in my whole life.  The mountains literally plunged into the ocean.  The water was clear and clean.  I watched seals follow our boats, lemon sharks swim underneath our boats and I caught a large salmon.  However, the real story is...I caught a massive ling cod!  It took me 45 minutes to real in and it took ALL my muscle power to do it.  Our guide was a fantastic man, tough as the forest he lived in and as honest as they come.  So, he didn't offer one bit of help in reeling that sucker in...and I'm so glad he didn't.  I hooked the cod in the middle of it's back, which made reeling it up to the boat super difficult.  I can't explain it, it was SO hard.  When I finally got a good glimpse of it, I could have sworn it was a sea monster...ugliest thing I ever saw!  But, I did it...I reeled it in, all by my lonesome and I was so proud!  I still love that guide for not assisting me in any way, had to do it all on my own...great lesson.

* Putting my faithful, most beloved and stubborn Axl boy to sleep.  I've had close family and friends pass away, but none broke my heart like my dog Axl did.  I can honestly say I had never felt a TRUE broken heart until that day, Sunday, September 30, 2012.  I cried so hard I couldn't breathe, open my eyes or talk.  I stayed with him until the very last second and then some.  The kind vet gave me plenty of time alone with him.  I was so grateful for that.  I cried for days.  I still cry.  I miss him badly.  It's weird the affect a pet can have on a human being.  I'm sure I will experience real heart brake again (although, I don't really want to), but Axl was a once in a lifetime kind of dog and showed me the meaning of unconditional love and devotion.  I have goofy Tom now, who is up in Canada doing some duck training, and I love him.  He won't replace Axl and I don't want him to.  But, at least when I have to say that heart ripping goodbye to Tom, I will know what to expect.

* Tumors.  The removal of tumors.  Head surgery and the agony of it.  Death like feelings, trauma and internal rage.  It's already been made clear, the details of my surgery on October 1, 2013, so I'm not about to say anymore...except, I really hope that it was all a once in a lifetime experience.  SO MANY lessons learned; how glorious and miraculous things can come from agonizing circumstances, realizing my own human strength, the clarity of faith,  the blessing of true love, learning how to receive gifts and service, what raw fear feels like, and last - but not least - I absolutely know I will NEVER wish that painful anguish on even the worst of my enemies.  To suffer is smothering.  But...in the same breath, at the end of the suffering is a whole lot of fresh air!

Once in a lifetime experiences are the best!  They make a person stronger, happier, amazed and so on.  I'm grateful for each 'once in a lifetime' I've lived.  A favorite saying of mine (which I speak often) is "You Live and You Learn!"  I hope I prod myself to always learn from every experience I encounter.  Then, I hope I never forget the lessons I've learned.

Peaceful 12 * 13 * 14!

Lisa Lucille

Thankful!!!!!!

I don't care if I'm having my worst day EVER...I can still find something to be grateful for!  I openly admit that on my "bad" days, I just want to whine and have everyone bring me a 32 oz. diet coke (with pebble ice & in a paper or styrofoam cup).  BUT, then I look at my husband, one of Sadie's paintings or Caitlyn's little notes and remember that, no matter what, there are beautiful things in my life that I am indeed grateful for.  They trump ALL the bad.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  I'm cooking for my little family.  I can't wait!!!!  We are together A LOT, but thanksgiving just seems to make being together a little more special than all the other days of the year.  This morning I was cleaning my kitchen and pulling pots and pans out of cabinets, looking for my biggest platters and cutest serving bowls.  Now, I have a moment to sit and contemplate before the next round begins...making pies and prepping the turkey!  As I sit down to rest, Sadie walks in the door, home from work and loaded with stories of cute kids and crazy shoppers...then CJ walks in from work and hugs me, kisses me then gets ready to go for a 5 mile run.  I can't help but - in my contemplative moment - make a mental list of everything I am SO FREAKING grateful for.  I'm listing them here....because it's my blog and I can...

True LOVE
Family (both immediate and not)
A real testimony
My temple recommend
I'm alive, I'm breathing, my heart is beating
Wisdom and knowledge
SUNSHINE
My home
My husbands successful business
My closet
Clean water
Music
Chocolate chip cookies
Rain
Loratab...it's God sent...I swear (I'm not a druggie...just a fan!)
Big happy dogs
Fluffy white clouds
Felt tip markers
5 year olds (they're just funny!)
....& Diet Coke

That's 20.  I think that's plenty.

I'm sending out a big fat wish, that EVERYONE is able to feel a little bit of love and gratitude on their thanksgiving day.  The sad part is that I know that will not happen...those are the thoughts that keep me up at night.  BUT...It's happiness and hope I'm focusing on, so I'll just do that!

Thankful for ALL my homies!  Peace...
Lisa Lucille

I know my truth!

In the movie Couples Retreat, Vince Vaughns character (after being "bit" by a shark) says, "I know my truth."  I laugh every time!  But, since I am the cheesiest of cheesy people...I like to find a deeper meaning in every phrase, song lyric, quote and so on.  That being said, there is epic meaning in the phrase "I know my truth!"  I use it a lot to drum up a laugh OR explain, "what I know I just know, period, the end."  This movie phrase is my favorite (next to "You don't know my life!" from the movie Baby Momma - which has equally epic meaning for me!).  I use it often, because it ends all stupidity in thoughts, words and random arguments.  I know my truth...smile commenced.

my 'i know my truth' face
...so shut up.

When I use the word "truth" it doesn't stem from it's opposite - "lie".  Truth, for me, means honesty from the inside out.  I have NEVER been very honest with who I actually am, the person my Father in Heaven made me to be.  I'm a pro at degrading my looks, talents, good works, body image and general personality.  About 3 weeks ago my brain screamed "I'VE HAD IT!"  I listened.  My heart then reminded me, "Your spirit was made perfectly by a perfect being."  I knew, without doubt, someone was trying to tell me something.  It was one of those moments your jaw literally drops and your eyes fly open.  This never happens to me, because...truthfully speaking, I'm generally to stubborn to listen to what my 'inside' has to say.  Long story short, my life has changed.  I can look in the mirror without distain, I can laugh whole heartedly at myself, I feel a closer connection to my Heavenly Father and I show love more freely...because I'm not afraid!  My physical body was created by two of the most adorable people I know - my mom and dad.  So I've got to be a little adorable...right?  My physical body is only a house for my spirit, my spirit was made by God and I know he made it perfectly.  So, I'm feeling pretty good about my situation AND everyone else too!  It's always a work in progress, but I like work now!

my baby holding pic's of her baby!

If you want mind blowing, undoubtable truth...watch an ultrasound.  That's a baby, already sucking it's thumb, blinking its eyes, opening it's mouth and rolling around in quiet bliss.  Miracles are absolute, undeniable truth.  My grand baby, swimming in my daughters tummy, is a miracle.   She already looks like her dad - his mouth and nose, most assuredly.  She is camera shy, because she brought her little hands to her face when the technician rolled the ball of jelly up to take a look at her. My Cait was grinning from ear to ear at the beauty of it all.  How LUCKY am I to have been there to experience that.  The truth of it is...I was fascinated and empowered by my own daughters strength. That she is alive and is carrying a baby in her belly is a real miracle.

Kansas...check
Buck down...check
3 degrees...check

CJ goes to Kansas every year to hunt whitetail.  Beautiful deer with yummy meat.  They are yummy because they graze in corn fields and on alfalfa.  Truth...it felt like he was away for a month!  Truth...I felt like it was normal to feel like he'd been gone for a month.  Truth...the night before he got home I thought, "Feeling complacent about CJ being away is NOT something I want to get used to!"  So, I decided right then and there that our 'love story' will never end.  Ups, downs....it doesn't matter, it's a love story and I LOVE every bit of it!  I know my truth FOR SURE when it comes to how much I love my CJ.  No one could put up with me like my Chris does.  No one would care for me like my Chris does.  And absolutely no one could love me as much as my Chris does.  He's home now, and a new chapter in our love story can begin!

Sadie + Otis = love

Truthfully speaking...I know my baby is an adult and can take care of herself!  She has proved that time and time again.  She got a puppy this week.  He is a silver lab and his name is Otis.  As labs are, Otis can be hyper (and he pee's & poop's on my carpet).  However, I think dogs are harder to raise than babies!  So this is a great opportunity for Sadie to be responsible and care for something that breathes and requires water and food to stay alive!  Truth...I'm nervous about this endeavor.  Truth...I know Sadie will do the very best she knows how to keep this cute little puppy happy.  Last one - truth...I'm REALLY glad we decided to wait on remodeling the house.  It's best to have old carpet and old furniture when a puppy comes to live with you.

Cait and Kyle making it a forever family!!!!

On saturday, my Caitlyn and her adorable husband Kyle were sealed in the Oquirhh Temple.  It was SO cold and rainy outside, but inside the temple it was warm, welcoming and bright.  Little Ava was kicking and poking her momma the whole time!  Kyle was a big cry baby...which was so endearing (love ya Wade!).  My Cait, with her gigantic smile and big wide blue eyes, glowed the whole day.  Truth...they are a a family bonded together for eternity now!!  Despite the elements and migraines, this was one of the happiest days we've ever spent together.

This week has been crazy busy and crazy fun and crazy tiring.  My house is a mess, I have 3 piles of laundry just waiting to be folded and put away, I've only cooked one real meal in 7 days, I'm tying to entertain my "sort of on bed rest" Cait, I never see Sadie because she is a dating machine, I've been to the store 3 times (already!) in preparation for Thanksgiving, I have papers to sign and people to meet with all over the valley....however...I know my truth, and the truth is 'if everything wasn't crazy, busy and a little disheveled, it wouldn't be LIFE!'  I am living my life with open arms.  That's the TRUTH!

"Truth is like the sun, you can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away."  Elvis Presley

I love EVERYBODY...that's the truth!

Peace peeps!

Lisa Lucille

wow...3 Nephi 29

3 Nephi 29:1 reads "And now behold, I say unto you that when the Lord shall see fit, in his wisdom, that these sayings shall come unto the Gentiles according to his word, then ye may know that the covenant which the Father hath made with the children of Israel, concerning their restoration to the lands of their inheritance, is already beginning to be fulfilled."

Now, I don't know much, but I do know that things only happen according to the Lords plan and immaculate timing.  "when the Lord shall see fit, in HIS wisdom"...I understand that this scripture applies to the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, but how applicable it is in my life!  I can't force a "thing" to happen.  I've wanted to before.  I prayed for my ribs to heal, for my tongue to work, for my speech to improve...some of it came, not in the time frame I wanted it to, but it did.  Some of the things I prayed for have still not come to be...but that's ok.  The Lord has a plan for me...and whatever that plan is, it will involve EXACTLY what He needs it to so I may do the work he has set aside for me!  And that's enough.  Just because I can't see it all happening...it will, just the way it is supposed to.

3 Nephi 29:6 reads "Yea, wo unto him that shall deny the revelations of the Lord, and that shall say the Lord no longer worketh by revelation, or by prophecy, or by gifts, or by tongues, or by healings, or by the power of the Holy Ghost!"

OK, that verse ends in an exclamation mark...noted.  So, I will NOT deny the revelations of the Lord in these last days.  I will NOT doubt the miracles.  At least I will really try not to doubt!  I will TRY to see everything as a small miracle, creation and gift from the Lord.  I will also remind myself that revelation comes through the prophet and to listen to his words a little more closely and with true intent.  Oh boy, I'm really committing myself here...I'm not the very best listener and I am fantastic and justification!

ALL 9 verses of this chapter are amazing...I mean, they are Christ's actual words...AWESOME!  But the last verse, #9 reads (and I LOVE it)..."Therefore ye need not suppose that ye can turn the right hand of the Lord unto the left, that he may not execute judgement unto the fulfilling of the covenant which he hath made unto the house of Israel."

A covenant is a promise.  The Lord judges with a perfect judgement.  The Book of Mormon is here, on the earth, being read by millions.  Promise kept.  BAM.

Reminder to me:  sometimes, when I blog or write in my journals, I think, "Man, when I look back on this it's sure gonna seem 'braggadocios'!"  NO!  NOT!  I am a very happy individual who IS NOT perfect and still has SO much to learn.  It's just that I can not ignore the personal revelation that is mine.  My testimony is my best quality.  Christ will judge me with a perfect judgement...so, Lisa, you don't need to.  OK?  So, just stay on the path and remember you're the least braggadocios person you know. 

Peace out popsicles...(it's cold outside!)

Lisa Lucille

so many things happen...when time flies....

Gosh!  So many things happen in a moment, hour, day, week, month.....you get it!  Time really does fly.

Reminders of what's happened in the last year or so....

*a cruise to the caribbean - again, that's #17, not bragging...just saying'
*voice box surgery - didn't last, not complaining...just a good test of will work and what won't!
*Kyle came home from serving in Kosovo for 10 months!  Good soldier boy...xoxoxo
*a new 5th wheel - L O V E...it resides in St. George (hence, so do I from time to time)
*Sadie tried out for Miss Bluffdale and won Miss Photogenic!
*Sadie graduated from Riverton High - and then.....
*Sadie went to Peru - an amazing and selfless service project she involved herself in!

*CJ bought me a new 4-RUNNER - it's gorgeous...waaayyyy better than a new pair of shoes!!
*CAITLYN is PREGGERS! - STOP!...Grandma time! (And it's a girl! - Ava Jane)

*a Colorado Springs trip, to visit Cait...in her ghetto digs...
*Tom left for 'duck' training in Canada - miss him....he probably doesn't miss me?
*went on an AMAZING church history tour - 12 days on a bus learning, sight seeing and learning!

Susquehanna River
Wait! John the Baptist was here?!  BOOM baby!

shoppin' the pioneer way
Kirtland OH
She like their hats....

Baptized for the dead...
with my Sadoe...
in the Nauvoo Temple!

*Cait and Kyle moved home - back to Utah....where we LOVE them!

*my IRONMAN finished the Florida race in 10:54:08 - wicked weather and all...he ran his A#% off!

*Kyle and Caitlyn are going through the temple to be sealed for ETERNITY on Nov. 22!  YAY!!!!

That brings me to today.  CJ is in bed with the flu.  Sadie is working.  Cait is home with her dogs and preggers belly.  Ava is swimming happily in her mothers womb.  Kyle is working his little rear end off (he works at the shop).  I am sitting at my kitchen counter (have been for the last 2 hours!) wondering "EXACTLY HOW LONG does it take to update iTunes on my iPhone?!!?" In between the wondering of the iPhone and this exact moment, I have been filling plastic cups full of ice water, warming up chicken noodle soup,  dosing out ibuprofen and taking temperature checks on my sad CJ's forehead.  So...I haven't got a damn thing accomplished today.  It's ok, because my family comes first, and...well...I love them.

This month I will be starting a Random Acts of Kindness project, a Proverbs Project, re-decorating my craft room and, of coarse, journaling...in my 7 (yes, 7) journals.  I journal...so sue me.  The blog will reflect my efforts (whether super lame or freaking awesome...some kind of effort will be made).

The best part of the next week (november 10th) is that my Grandma Gibson will be 90!  My awesome grandma, who, took me to her golf tournaments, bowling tournaments, relief society luncheons, taught me to forever love the smell of PineSol, and body surfed in her 60's....she will be 90!  Forever one of my favorite people and greatest examples!  She's adorable....and supremely feisty.

And....I guess it's pretty cool that my Cait will be turning 22 on the 9th and my cute dad will be turning 67 on the 14th.  I'm sorry Cait and Dad, but 90 trumps both y'all.  Just sayin'...loves!

"Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  I don't care if I win or lose...I just love playing the game!"

Peace to my peeps....

Lisa Lucille :]

6 Months Out!

A lot can happen in just 6 months!

me…
before october 1, 2013

On October 1 of last year I underwent intensive surgery to remove a paraganglioma tumor from under my jaw and cheek bones.  Two tumors had grown together to create one measuring 8 to 10 centimeters long and shaped like a banana.  The tumor had been growing for approximately 20 years and had completely consumed most of my right facial nerves.  Surgery to remove the tumors resulted in extreme stretching of most and laceration of other nerves.  The right side of my face has been severely affected.  I was informed that through therapy and 6 months of recovery time I would 'get back' much of what was originally lost.

The morning of October 2nd proved that my voice box was crucially incapacitated (I could not talk), swallowing food or liquid of any kind was impossible (I had a feeding tube), breathing was labored (I had a tracheotomy),  tongue movement was minimal and my right eye was weak and could not dilate.  I spent a hellish week in ICU and Critical Care.  However, my paraganglioma was not cancerous (YAY!) and my recovery could be helped with therapy!

me...october 2nd
and I have to say, this picture looks much better than I felt.

Today is April 1st.  I wish I could jump out and say "April Fools….it was all a joke!" but I can't.  I am, however, grateful to know now that I am a survivor, a fighter.  I have a more acute sense of life these days and don't want to waste any of it on the mundane.  My energy is still low and I get tired easily, but it will not stop me from enjoying what makes me most happy.  I love nature, art, creativity, imagination, simplicity and kindness.  I admire those who are strong yet much less fortunate than I, in there long-suffering, and see them as shining examples in an otherwise hopeless world.  Idea's and opinions I thought were so important to have and share before, now seem to be silly compared to the hope I have in my heart for all mankind.  If it were not for the faith and prayers of others, pain would have consumed me.  If it were not for loving friends who shared gifts, sweet texts and compassionate service, depression would have debilitated me.  If it were not for my girls, sunshine and laughter would have been clouded out.  If it were not for the incredible love and selfless devotion of my hubs and best friend, CJ, I would have given in to utter weakness.  If it were not for the tender spirit, I would never have learned to appreciate the quiet, peaceful moments.

tender moments of strength and mercy
….thank you CJ

me & my cutest man…5 months out

When all is said and done…My Heavenly Father loves me.  I can say this with out doubt.  He has blessed me beyond my deserving.  Before I came to this earth He instilled within my heart an unsurmountable lot of SUNSHINE.  All I want to do is share that sunshine!  I have the power to do so through my thoughts and actions.  I am still working on strengthening my faith everyday.  But, He understands me, knows my weaknesses and loves me anyway.  He is the ONE who has seen me through my darkest hours, bitterest pains of recovery and struggles to win this fight.   

All in all:  I lost a total of 40 pounds (NOT a diet program I would wish on even my worst enemy),  my speech sounds similar to a Muppet or drunkards voice, my tongue is still paralyzed on the right side, my scars are unique to any others I've ever seen, I am one of 3 people who have had this same surgery, I still have a lazy eye that does not want to dilate, the migraines have subsided, my ribs have healed (I broke them due to choking ALL THE TIME!), my chin is numb indefinitely, I can finally eat more than 2 tablespoons of yogurt for a meal, I have gained back 15 pounds and I am finally comfortable joking about almost every aspect of this crazy 'ganglioma' journey!  What a wild and emotional ride! 

I have 2 more surgeries to undergo before this craziness is over.  One more tumor to be removed on the left side in my neck and the reconstruction of my voice box.  After that, I hope to regain energy, travel a little more, renew my spirit completely and, God willing, become a grandma full of fun and silliness!

that's EXACTLY what I plan to do!

Peace, love and sunshine!

Lisa 

looked outside at JUST the RIGHT moment!

Last night, my family was gathered in the great room watching t.v. and chatting when  I barely noticed the light change on the wall.  It had been raining outside most of the day and was quite grey.  But, now the wall looked more yellow.  I turned to took out my windows and WOW!  I ran to my back door and out onto my deck…holy cow, it was like heaven!  The clouds broke and the sun was shining brighter than ever.  It was the most gorgeous sight!  I called out to my family and insisted they come out to see, they did and were just as amazed as I was.

I immediately started taking pictures with my little old iPhone 4.  These are the moments I wish I was a professional photographer!  But I can't complain, my phone did pretty great…

my favorite…i could NOT believe the color of that sky!

rainbow, stretching across my little town

i think we know where the pot of gold is!  those colors were literally neon! 

…and my love for clouds was fulfilled 

you can't really tell (but i posted it anyway, to remind myself), the trees are shinning silver!  just like tinsel on a christmas tree….amazing!

Amazing, breathtaking nature!  Right out my back door….I LOVE IT!

Peace out!
Lisa

Hello March Sun!

Nothing makes me happier than a little bit (or a lot!) of sunshine!  Being able to sit in the sun, throw the ball to Tom and hang with my main man CJ is a pure delight.  The energy rises, moods are good, air is fresh and spirits are high.  It's even more special when the temperatures climb just a bit higher than they should be.  Just like they did last week!

not a big "selfie" fan…but, see the sun?  It is at my side…right where I like it to be!

my big boy Tom…growing up, getting SO obedient. 

handsomest man I ever saw!  flingin' arrows to the target!

For seasonal depression sufferers, this weather couldn't be a bigger blessing.  We will get more snow, and that's ok…but until then, we'll all just breathe in and enjoy!

Peace out girl scout!

the smallest and most unexpected....

This is Mason!

Mason is my little buddy.  I was his preschool teacher for two years. I watched him grow from a shy little guy into a tender hearted friend.  He's one of those that grabbed hold of my heart and will probably always own a piece of it.  

While I was in the Teton Valley this year, I stopped at a shop in which a Navajo Indian owned.  He shared with Sadie and I stories of the relics he makes and sales.  He had a little woven basket full of indian arrow heads.  They were so cool, all made out of different kinds of stone...so I bought a few and decided to bring them home to some of my preschool boys who love that kind of thing.  Mason is one of those little boys who received one.

I finally had the opportunity to give it to him last night when I stopped by his house to hitch a ride, with his mom, to 'bunco' night.  He opened it and grinned, not really sure what it was.  I explained it to him and his big brother said it was a special indian arrow and that Mason should put it up in his room high on a shelf.  So he did.

We hung out for a few more minutes talking and waiting for Tonya (Mason's mom) to be ready to go.  Mason had already said thank you and I didn't see him again.  When we were in the car, ready to back out of the driveway....Mason came running to the car asking for "Miss Lisa" (me).  He had a giant smile on his face, which is something he tries really hard to hide...so I knew this must be good!  I opened my door and said, "What's up buddy?"  He just stuck his hand out and in it was a big wad of tissue.  Obviously it was for me so I unwrapped it.

This was my gift...

...an alligator lego!

Needless to say, I feel I received the more thoughtful gift :]  Lego's are like gold, with most boys, so this will sit on my nightstand for years to come! 

"I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things.  I play with leaves, skip down the street and run against the wind."  -Leo Buscaglia    ME TOO!!!  I believe, sometimes, it's the smallest and most unexpected things that make the biggest impact.

Peace out!

always changing...

Constantly changing the way I do things...I'm a creature of change.  Loving the world around me and always wishing for more, it's what I do.  When you boil it all down...that's what makes my little world spin.  That said....no more "day's" posts.  Cooking, crafting, serving, cleaning and all that jazz are just things I do randomly and my free spirit doesn't allow me to tie down certain things....like cooking, crafting, serving, cleaning, etc. ;]  I'm moving back to "journal" type posting, it's much more fun for me.

Anyway...Last Thursday I had my tonsils out and 3 sinus procedures done all at the same time.  I'll be honest, it was dreadful.  Couldn't eat, sleep, drink....just lay in my bed and take the days one minute at a time.  I'm not a bed dweller, or t.v. watcher - so it super sucked.  I had WAY too much time to sit and think.  All I knew is I couldn't wait for better days.  Laying in bed for a week with not a whole lot of cheerful moments and a great dose of pain made me realize I'VE GOT TO GET OUT AND DO MORE!  My sympathies to those who are afflicted with pain and a bed ridden quality of life...my heart breaks for you.

So, It's August 31.  In Utah we have no choice but to endure Indian Summers.  They are beautiful!  In an attempt to get out and breathe the mountain air, my cute CJ took me for a motorcycle ride up the canyon and into Heber Valley.  We ate a small lunch and then continued home.  It was so much fun!  My husband is so good to me.  Whoa, back to my subject of indian summers.....I took pictures of the beginnings of a beautiful summers ending.

Perfect image of an early september sky.
SO FREAKING GORGEOUS!

Look close....you'll spot the early changing leaves.

I love when the leaves start changing, the thunder clouds start rolling in and the warm winds continue to blow.  It signifies so much change.  This same time of year is when vacations are over, trailers and boats get put away, the new school year begins, you take a jacket at night to save you from the chill and of coarse...the leaves change and fall arrives.  Fall is my favorite...so you will hear no complaints from me.  But the indian summer saves me when I still desire to go outside to play with Tom, drive with my windows down and sit on the back porch to read a book.  Utah is so pretty and full of change....guess that's why I've lived here all my life ;]

"CHANGE IS IN ALL THINGS SWEET"  -Aristotle

Enjoy and Be Peaceful :]

thoughtful thursday and fashion friday!

Thoughtful Thursday

I woke up yesterday to a film crew in my yard!  I called my CJ to see what the heck was going on?  He said the company laying the asphalt (in the driveway down to the barn) was involved in some kind of reality tv show,  call "TarNation".  So, they would be here most of the day filming.  After telling CJ I didn't want to be here or be on tv, he said..."No worries, I'll give you some cash and you can go shopping!"  What?!?!  I am so spoiled!  Yes, I grabbed the cash and me, Sadie and Cait went shopping downtown!

What does all that have to do with 'thoughtful thursday'?  Well, I was excited to stay home and bake some bread for a couple of my neighbors who need a little pick-me-up.  Being way too intimidated by the film crew hanging around in my yard, I left and the bread never was baked.  I'm a little sad about that.  I guess CJ was the 'thoughtful' one on thursday.  But, oh well...here are some pic's from our awesome shopping trip...

I love City Creek...It's a beautiful place to shop!

Sadie and Cait taking a break and sippin' on delicious beverages ;]

thoughtful thursday & fashion friday all squeezed into spontaneous saturday :]

CJ, Sadie and I traveled up to the Teton Slide horse show (in Idaho Falls) on thursday and then CJ and Sadie showed their horses on friday....SO, I didn't have the ability to post for those 2 days.  Oh well, we are home now so here it ALL is!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY: ("The thoughtful soul to solitude retires" ..Omar Khayyam)

Traveling always takes it's toll!  I feel tired and cramped and ready to sleep in my own bed every time I return home from a trip.  Well, when we did return home we found a batch of chocolate chip cookies on our counter.  OH HAPPY DAY....they are my most favorite!

can you see that I ALREADY ate one???

The cookies had been sent by our neighbors/friends to thank CJ for giving them a horse bridle and halter for their daughter to use in her barrel racing competitions.  Now, usually, on thoughtful thursday I would post something I did for someone to make their day a little brighter (give myself the opportunity to serve/give more), but this was such a pleasant surprise....I posted it instead :]  My neighbors have no idea how awesome it made us feel to come home to a plate of deliciousness after a really long day of horse shows and travel!   My personality is such that it's uncomfortable for me to receive gifts or attention.  I sure appreciated this gift.  Thanks Oakley Anderson for the super yummy cookies!!

FASHION FRIDAY: (fashion is ridiculous, color and pattern are splendiferous!)

LET'S TALK CLOGS!

Since the 70's I have LOVED clogs.  When they were completely out of style, for like 30 years, I still loved them!  I loved the pair I had when I was young and I love the few I have in my closet now, I could buy them all.

I posted a perfect (for me) outfit to sport some clogs with!  It's posted in the previous post! :]

There's a SPONTANEOUS SATURDAY post!!!
Peace out and JUST BE YOURSELF...everyone else is taken ;]