My whole entire life I've been nice. Nice-ness is what I do. Being nice is a chronic torture. I love that I am a nice person...I just don't always love how being nice affects me.
Niceness is double edged and is not the same thing as kindness. Kindness takes heart, niceness doesn't. Nice people are not always kind. I am not always kind. I have to work really hard at kindness (sometimes), I think many sensitive people do.
It's not just me...the dictionary interprets nice as agreeable, satisfactory and kind as affectionate, loving. The difference is heart, attitude and spirit of intent. Both dictionary entries offered up the word pleasurable, which is ironic to me. I'm not knocking the value of being nice...being nice is good. Being kind is better.
Being a nice person, with good intent, is the suckiest thing that ever sucked. You either have domineering people dump their problems on to you or you acquire strange friends who end up being like a boogar on your finger. Both scenarios leave you standing stupid with a smile on your face because you're too afraid to say "NO" or "OK, go away"...because that's not the NICE thing to do!!!!!
Being a nice person, with good intent, is also the best thing that ever was. It proves you can tackle uncomfortable situations with a smile on your face and come out victorious and introduces you to richly interesting people who you would, otherwise, never have known. So, ya know...it's chronic torture! I choose kind...it holds more integrity, virtue and grace - but I'll take nice...it might be as close as I'll ever get?!!?
I have a sign hanging in my house that says "because nice matters"...it does matter.
*week 12 of 52 gratitude....What is your favorite personality trait? My nice-ness.
Lisa Lucille
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