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| This is a perfect picture of what I feel like doing everyday. Yep, this is EXACTLY what my heaven looks like. And, I think when we are really focused on our true selves age isn't the issue, love is. Open, free and looking for warm and new adventures....BEAUTY, in any form. I whole heartedly believe beauty is a missunderstood idea. Everyone and Everything was sent to us by a loving Heavenly Father...and he doesn't DO ugly...so open your eyes a little wider! |
I had a "first" happen to me today. It wasn't a good thing. I consider myself a kind person, I don't like mean or rude. Two weeks ago I was involved in a miscommunication I thought was sad, but harmless. One of those situations where you say something to another person and they take it differently than how you meant it. Well, I had talked to this person after the fact and thought I cleared myself and the words I said. The words were not rude in the first place...so it seamed like no big deal. But, today this person (who I usually get along with) came to hand a book to me, she looked sad, so I asked innocently, "Are you ok?" and then extended my arms to give her a hug. She turned and walked directly away from me. No words and more hurtful, no hug. She then turned back around and said, "Oh, I need you to take these books too." So (thinking I miss took what just happened) I told her I would take care of them. I smiled and again she turned away, as if we didn't even know each other. I've got to be honest...this made me sad :[ That's NEVER happened to me before. My kindness is usually taken as genuine, as far as I know....because that's the way it's meant. I guess it just hurts because I do genuinely like people and try to be a kind as I can.
All day I've been struggling with how to emotionaly and mentally handle this? What do I do? I don't know. It is clear I should leave this person alone for a while until we can talk clearly without any judgement. I think to just continue to love is the answer. This person is a great person with many talents and gifts to share...I still feel that way, I just feel sad that she thinks of me to be someone I'm not. So, is this selfish thinking on my part, or have my feelings just been hurt and I need to give myself some time? I always try to be a kind shoulder to lean on or an honest sounding board for pretty much everyone (whether I want to or not).
Well, I'm venting to nobody except my totally awesome apple laptop and vast blackness of the internet! ;] However, it feels good to just get it out. If anyone reads this...I'm not a cry baby and in NO WAY a drama queen, just a concerned individual who usually doesn't get the cold shoulder like that!
The good that came from this is that I took a long and deep sunday afternoon nap, it cleared my mind and now I'm listening to a little Blink 182 and Angels&Airwaves, because Tom Deloung ALWAYS cheers me up :] CJ is also on his way home from St. George, so pretty soon I'll have some comforting arms to snuggle in! Here's the visuals (because it's all about pleasing the eyeballs!!!) of the beauty that came to my day, despite the sadness...
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| TOM, Mark and Travis...3 very naughty, funny and super talented boys that make me feel so much better! |
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| I wish this was my room...but it's not, cute though - right??? However, my dog does like to lay by my side when I nap...so this reminded me of my super awesome sunday afternoon nap ;] |
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| A silly picture of my best friend and me. I always know I'm loved by at least one person....CJ :] |
'One Last Thing' lyrics - Love 2 - Angels and Airwaves
my 'one last thing' to believe in
lisajp :]
Hi! I am reading. Sort of. I read way too many blogs and I have trouble keeping up so I read maybe every 4 or 5 posts from people.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe anyone wouldn't want a hug from you and would be offended by you, but I have been there and I know how you feel. About three years ago I said something on facebook that offended someone else. In fact I didn't even mean to offend. I just took a poll like they used to have all the time and said I was for gay rights. My "friend" said something really mean and nasty to me about it and it hurt. What hurt more was what she did after that. She had a private blog and next thing I knew I couldn't look at it anymore. I had always looked at it and she had always looked at my blog. We were pretty good friends in that way. Then I noticed she had also deleted me from fb. Her best friend who was also my friend did the same thing. I was so hurt. Still am. I just try so hard to be a friend to all I couldn't believe I was in a position where I had people who hated me. I think you and I are alike in that way. I think you would bend over backwards to make sure people felt comfortable with you and to treat others kindly. I don't think you want to be an enemy with anyone even someone who is mean to you. Keep your head up. I love you. You have awesome kids and the funniest best looking husband. You are awesome. Hopefully this friend will come around. Send her a note telling her how hurt you are and how you never wanted to offend. I did that and it didn't change anything but at least I knew that I did what I could to be the better person. I then left it up to them to be Christlike in their lives. That is the day that I started the motto, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." My unconventional thoughts have left me with many friends not wanting to be around me. It take a true friend to love you regardless of how different you may be from them. I am finding that true more and more in my life lately.